Tag Archives: tired

I don’t even like wine, but this week I’ll make an exception

Wish I still had these babies in the house right now lol

This week has been extremely emotionally draining. My toddler is at the stage where he is testing his boundaries with everything and thinking it’s funny when mom gets mad, as well he seems to not want to speak English this week so when he’s upset he just stands there and cries in my face, and my 8 month old is cutting a tooth from hell and all she’s doing is crying, so I’m surrounded my crying every waking moment. I cannot remember the last time I had a meal that was still hot, or even the last time I had a coffee and finished it before it was ice cold. Now don’t get me wrong, Alex tries his best to help out but my children are mommy children, so when they need something or get hurt all I hear is mom mom mom. Which is great but after the 30th time hearing mom in half a day, the word starts to get annoying lol

I love my kids with every bone in my body, but this week I’m at the end. Here’s the situation I am in on a daily basis. I live in a town where there is literally nowhere to go in the day time. I have like no one here to hang out with, every morning I wake up 6:30 to the sounds of screeching cries, and half the time I wake up in the middle of the night to crying as well. I do not have adult conversations barely ever so when I am out I get verbal diarreah and come off looking like an idiot. I can only go to the grocery store/mail/library so many times before that starts looking weird and people get sick of seeing me there, let alone I have to take the kids with me when I go and wherever I go, so there is a constant crying/defiance from one of them. I don’t get invited out places because clearly I must be weird or something, I do not get to go to lab city alone to relax, and the store closes here at 6 so by the time supper is over they are closed, and on weekends I like to go out as a family instead of leaving Alex home with the kids. I literally sit in the same two chairs all day, and occasionally the vehicle. I am beyond excited to go to lab city in a week to get a mole removed, yeah you heard correctly, I am excited for someone to cut into my flesh and sit on the incision site for 2.5 hours, because Melanie is taking my children for the day so I can get that done without worrying about them and fighting with them all day long. I get to be a human. And even thought I’m going to be in pain afterwards, I will be thankful for every moment.

I know, being a stay at home mom is such a blessing, and I love being home with my kids, but I am never without my kids, I do not get that grocery store trip, or even a dive to Tim’s, I don’t get to go to a job and be an adult. I don’t get to go out for coffee with my bestie and talk about anything other than baby things, and I know so much about baby things I don’t really even know what adult things are. When my kids go to sleep, I watch the clock and calculate in my head how much sleep i can get before they wake up.. I barely talk because I’m actually enjoying the silence, I do not want to cuddle because I’ve had two little beings invade my personal space all day and I just want to be left alone. Any mother knows this feeling, like if someone else touches you you’re going to explode in a puddle of so many emotions, you do not know whether to scream or burst into tears. 

Anyways just writing this heads made me feel a little better, but I had to get it off my chest. And I know I’m not the only person going through this, so to those who read this and can relate, I’m with you. 

Later taters

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Dinosaurs and High Maintenance

My sleepy little dinosaur lover 😍

Ok. So you have to understand my 4 month old to figure out why screaming because she rolled onto her belly in bed was tragic and unnecessary at 4:30am… 
Abby can roll from belly to back and back to belly. But, like her brother, she doesn’t want to do these things, only when convenient to her. Like you could put her on her belly and she will move around for an hour no issue, then she gets angry or rolls to her back, most times she gets angry and just lies there face into the play at screaming because she’s clearly too high maintenance to roll herself 🙄. Just so you know, no I don’t give in the moment she cries, she will literally lye there bawling with snot coming out of her nose before I go and get her most days. Other days, well I’ve probably been listening to Ethan yell and scream and say mommy all day that I just don’t have the patience to listen to her cry for no reason. Doesn’t make me a bad mom in anyway. 

Anyways back to the story. So my daughter, 4:30 A.M.! Decided to roll onto her belly in bed, which is fine, except for this high maintenance thing where she started screeching to get off her belly. And it’s 4:30 in the morning, I’m certainly not up to listening to her pterdactyl voice screaming through the the monitor, so I go in and roll her over and tuck her in again and go back to bed… Or so I thought, she proceeded to talk, make little screams, and enjoy life until Ethan woke up crying at 6am… Had a poop done… So I changed him and put him back to bed… Abby was still awake so I figured I would give her some food to settle her down, apparently it did the opposite and she is still in bed, wide awake, grunting, crying, talking, and probably pooping. Oh did I mention Ethan hasn’t gone back to bed either? “Tay Roar” lol.

So Ethan got a new addition to his dinosaur family yesterday, a large plastic triceratops, which he had to have a nap with on the way home from lab city yesterday. I think his love of dinosaurs is adorable, and I encourage it by buying them and even making sure the fruit snacks I get are dinosaur shaped. The only place dinosaurs are not allowed is in his bedroom because I am convinced he will never sleep! If he wakes up looking for them then he would definitely not sleep lol. Even right now he is sitting on the couch holding a dinosaur watching Mike the knight lol. 

And I feel like I need to say something nice about Abby where I just regard on her earlier haha. Outside of this no sleeping bullshit she’s like the perfect baby. She had her audiology appointment yesterday morning, she’s completely normal, and she just sat there laughing and talking with the receptionist, it was adorable! And she Was so good on the drive yesterday, barely even freaked out. And it was 6hours of driving so freaking out is completely understandable for a 4 month old.

Today, I have two goals: get a shower and attempt to sleep if and when the other two are sleeping at the same time… So I’ll def get a shower but I’ll have to wait until bedtime tonight to get the sleep part. Most days I just try to get from sun up to sun down without any injuries and with everyone relatively happy and healthy. Lol

Anyways, Abby’s still awake and Ethan’s up dancing to paw patrol, Alex is leaving for work in a couple minutes, then I’m thinking its a quick shower then finally getting Abby out of bed… Unless she’s finally  fallen asleep, to which I have to strongly doubt lol.
Later taters!