I have a very strong willed 2 year old, who will test his boundaries no matter who is around.
I believe selective hearing begins at birth, or at least it certainly seems like this with my son. Everywhere we go he will test his boudaries, quietly at first, then full blown tantrum over a kinder egg. The worst is when you try to leave somewhere, just leaving the house is a chore. I get Abby into her car seat all ready and get everyone to the stairs, he then proceeds to close the gate on me and says “bye mommy I’ll miss you”.. Like I’m just going to leave him there. So it takes raising my voice (after asking nicely 4-5 times) before he will even come down the stairs to get his shoes and jacket on. Then I take him outside to get in the car. Ethan adores snow so he walks around and plays with the snow so I put Abby in the car and then ask him to get in the car, which he ignores until I physically get him or turn into monster mom again. So before I even get to a store or locations I’ve already had to yell twice, at least. Once I get somewhere I always get a cart because dealing with 2 children is difficult on a good day, and Ethan hates being contained so if I’m not quick he gets pissy and starts yelling and crying for no reason, then of course we hit the kinder eggs and his whole life just crumbles if he doesn’t get that kinder egg… Try telling an already pissed off child they cannot have a kinder egg… I would rather wash a cat. So through listening to him crying “mommy egg” for 5 minute and his not-listening to my “Ethan quiet please” he eventually gets yelled at again. But this time it’s more public than the earlier times and a lot of the times I think back and feel a little guilty for doing it, but I know my own child, if I could talk civilly to him and he would listen I would, unfortunately I have to turn into monster mom before he even looks my way most days. It’s because of this that when I overhear a mom yelling at their child in the supermarket or Walmart, I relate to that mother and I personally want to give her a high five so she knows that she’s not alone or a horrible parent for doing that.
Now I also have given in to my child, more times than I care to admit. I am a mother of two, one who just cries because she’s a baby and I expect that, and one who cries and yells and constantly says “mommy mommy mommy” to the point I wish my name was anything else. So when we are out and he wants a kinder egg and is tantruming for it, I have given it to him. Earlier that day I probably dealt with at least 4 loads of poop, fussy teething baby, Ethan getting on my very last nerve, and the house is definitely up to your eyeballs in mess. So I give in. I am not sorry for that. Those 2 minutes he is eating that kinder egg are quiet, amazingly quiet that I can for once think clearly and breathe. I am sure there are moms out there that never give in, but I hate wine and I do not have that will power.
No matter how many times he makes me want to pull my hair out, all he has to do is smile once and I’m melted. He made me a mom and no matter how difficult he makes that some days, he is one of the major loves of my life, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.